Comedy

Al Burian
Author (Burn Collector, Things Are Meaningless), Musician (Milemarker, Challenger), Brilliant Thinker, Comedian

"Best imaginable night, in any city in the world, in your words: In order to have a truly great night you have to have a horrible morning, for context. So I’d begin by waking up on the street in some exotic metropolis I’ve never been to before, and where I don’t know anyone, destitute, hungry and alone. Over the course of the day I’d be approached by some extremely attractive and interesting locals, who would invite me over to dine on the regional cuisine, which would turn out to be the best food I’ve ever tasted in my life. Towards evening, a little tipsy on the fruity elixir they’d refer to only as ‘the national beverage,’ they’d reveal themselves to be left-wing revolutionaries planning the overthrow of the U.S.-backed puppet regime. Around 11 PM I’d be joining them in storming the presidential palace, thinking to myself, ‘wow, I’m usually contemplating going to the Rainbo around this time.’ By 12:30, news of the people’s glorious victory would be spreading on the AP wires, causing a crisis within the Imperialist power structure that would lead, by 1:48 AM (‘Last call!’ at the Rainbo) to the world-wide collapse of Western hegemony. Around 4:48 AM I’d be crushed to death during the wild celebratory orgy in the Imperial bedchamber, auto-erotically asphyxiating while Van Halen’s 1984 album blasted on the presidential stereo."

If you like this be sure to check out the full interview by Andrew Womack here

Also check out:
Burn Collector: One Through Nine A collection of his brilliant and ridiculously funny zine and quite possibly my favorite book


M.I.A.'s Best Story Ever
Musician, Singer, Artist, Social Commentator, Comedian